July 30.  I'm just amazed at the inevitability of it.  It's a pleasant night out, I prepare the blanket on my chaise lounge, set up the heating pad, get ready for a really pleasant lie down.  Within minutes a hollow anxiety appears in my legs, and soon one of them is twitching.  no point in lying down, so get up


So, I have pretty much exhausted the pharmaceutical solutions, spiritual solutions are out of my reach, psychological.....well, I've made some important discoveries, but their connection to this demon are tenuous or nonexistent.  Most likely, this is a condition that I just "have".  As I said earlier, "Abandon all hope of fruition"
 is my only course.  My salvation lies in acknowledging the hopelessness of the situation